Greetings from Curious George Festival...

I don't know what it is...there's something about parenting that makes you forget. We just went to Disney in May, and I'm barely recovered from that. But, something made me sign up for the Curious George Weekend in Waterville Valley, NH.

It is truly a beautiful place. Someplace I'll visit again when my world doesn't revolve around teething and tantrums.

It is far away. Over 3 hours. This would be fine, except now I'm listening to 3 hours of Curious George on DVD, because when it's not on, Haley has a tantrum. It's naptime, but she's refusing to sleep. About 30 minutes in I realize we've left the camera behind, we detour to Best Buy.

We're back on the road and stuck in traffic. We make it to the Black Bear Lodge and check in. We take Haley to dinner where she throws crayons, goldfish, raisins, fries, and everything else she could get her hands on. 'I want George!' she screams. 'I want booze!' I scream internally.

We make it back to the room in one piece. Haley and I are sharing a queen size bed. I'm trying to sing her to sleep. I realize I know only three songs by heart, start to finish, without singing along to the radio: Puff the Magic Dragon, AC/DC's Shook Me, and Snoop's Gin and Juice. I think she's going to sleep, and she pops up and says, 'I want Daddy!' and strolls over to the couch where PJ has conked out. The two of them wind up sleeping in the twin bed next to the queen, so PJ can block Haley against the wall. I pull the curtain between the two beds so I can watch a little tv, but their dual snores drown out the volume.

Fast forward to this morning. It's 5am. 'Apple Juice! I want apple juice!', proclaims Haley as she heads to the non-childproofed fridge and grabs herself a juicebox. 'Coffee! Coffee!' I scream. This time not so silently. We drag our tired selves off to the Banana Pancake breakfast. It's pandemonium. Kids everywhere! Lots of them named Haley and Olivia. I keep hearing my name over and over, which is odd, since it was not popular at all when I was young. "Olivia, do you really need all that bacon?", a woman scolds. I almost say, "Yeah, what's it to you, I love bacon bitch!" before realizing she was talking to her little girl, Olivia who had a plate with an impressive pile of bacon on it. Haley gets her picture taken with George and The Man With The Yellow Hat. She's exhausted now, so we head back for a nap. She's out cold so I grab my book and some wine (Yes, it's 10am and I don't care at this point)and head out to the deck to relax. Ahhh...an hour of peace.

Now we hit lunch, the petting zoo, a fire truck, and ice cream. We're looking for something to do and decide to use the passes provided by the lodge to rent a boat and hit the lake. We get a canoe. Haley and I put on our lifejackets. There's only one size and it's a big snuggly on PJ. "Do you have any in 'husky'?", I joke as we get ready to go out on the water. Now PJ and Haley are on one end of the canoe, and I'm on the other. This is a disaster waiting to happen. They're combined weight is twice what I weigh. Here's an artist's rendering of our outing.


So, Haley becomes belligerent and decides she doesn't want to sit down any longer. We row ashore. We realize we've hit up all the fun events and if Haley wants to see George cartoons (one of the available activities) we can do it on the way home. Another 3 hours and we're back, and I'm exhausted and in need of another vacation.