A vote for me is a vote for...

the future. I mean c'mon...let's be real here. You know it doesn't really matter who you vote for tomorrow. It's going to be the same old bullshit, just under a different name. Nothing is going to drastically change. It will be business as usual. That's why you need to write in your votes for me...someone who will shake things up.

As I've mentioned in the past, I'm already the president of a small homeowners association. I haven't screwed that up yet. I'm also a home economist, I keep my house clean, my husband and child clothed, fed, and entertained and still have time for nursing school...how much harder could being a senator really be? I think I could bring a fresh and fun flavor to the floor of the senate. Right now, there's too much partisan nonsense to get anything accomplished. We need to bring everyone together and get some work done instead of wasting taxpayers money. Here's some of the policies I plan to institute to make the Capitol a fun, yet productive place...

Costumes!

I love dressing up for Halloween. Or any other time that calls for it. Can you imagine how awesome that would be? Everyone has fun dressing up as their favorite characters, dressing up as each other, the fun would be endless!

Well, until Sen. Robert Byrd comes dressed up in an old KKK uniform.

Any costume party is not complete without snacks and libation. You can't tell me people filled up with yummy pumpkin cheesecake brownies.

(Note: These brownies are available in the 'magic' form for Senators from the following states: Alaska, California, Colorado, Hawaii, Maine, Michigan, Montana, Nevada, New Mexico, Oregon, Rhode Island, Vermont, and Washington)

And once we get a vote finished, we can celebrate and wash it down with some delicious Ecto Cooler.

Anyone with a full stomach and good buzz will be much more cooperative and ready to make wise decisions.

I don't like to put up with nonsense. If you're being fresh in my house, you get a time out. In your crib. I think a time-out crib in the senate chamber, might make a few people think before they say/do stupid things.

Really, people react to very basic incentives. Girls in cute costumes, food, booze, and punishment. Very simple keys, but they will help me make a change for Massachusetts and our nation. As it was eloquently stated in Team America: World Police

AMERICA...FUCK YEAH!!!

CARTER 2010