4th and 2 Musings...

Life is full of decisions...do I stay at home, do I go back to work, do I go for it on 4th and 2?

Sigh, I do have a Belichick hoodie, and sadly wearing it has never helped me to answer any of the above questions.

I was hoping to write something funny about my disappointment in Sunday's game and what I thought about Jenna Jameson on this afternoon's Oprah, but instead I'm going to discuss something that is probably boring to most people...child rearing!

I was waiting in the reception area of the salon tonight before getting my hair done. One of the employees departing for the day remarked about going home to her kids, "I'm so glad I don't have to stay home with my kids. I would need all the drugs in the world or I'd just jump off my roof. I didn't sign up for this stuff!"

I started laughing and then I thought to myself, "Hey dumbass, you stay home with your kid, why are you laughing?!" I politely laughed with the woman, and then thought to myself...

a)Do I really need all the drugs in the world? (Hmmmm...sounds tempting, but I'm guessing she wasn't talking about the recreational type)
b) Would I like to jump off my roof? (Eh, probably not...it's a short two floors and I'd probably just end up embarrassed and sprawled on the roof of my Tahoe)

I don't think anyone can fully understand what parenthood entails until they take home a crotchling of their very own, but to say 'I didn't sign up for this' seems a bit harsh. I knew when I popped out my little bundle of joy I had basically 'signed up' for not having the next 18 years of my life to myself. But who am I to judge? Well, in case you didn't know, the judging starts before the kid even takes his or her first breath, Do those who adhere to the so-called gold standard of parenting get some special prize? A crown perhaps?

Medicated vs. Drug-Free birth
Oooh, drug free is so much better for you and the baby. To each their own, that's what I say, but I got the drugs as soon as they were offered. And when those wore off I swore at everyone in the room until I got my epidural. No crown for me.

Breastfeeding vs. Formula
Breastmilk is best! Yeah! I did this one! Where's my crown?! Shoot, again, no crown and all the money I saved on formula is heading into the pocket of a plastic surgeon in a couple of years.

Daycare vs. Staying at Home
The jury is out on this one. I've heard every comment from 'Oh, you want to be the one to raise your children' to 'Daycare kids are much smarter and better off!' So, it's a draw. Still no crown for me.

Where does the judgement come from you ask? Other moms. The very people who should be supporting of one another rather than being Judgey McJudgersons. Jenna Jameson was on Oprah today. The topic was 'Women and Porn' or something. I'm not going to get into that here (but it doesn't mean I won't in the future), but more about Jenna's new role as a mom. There was a segment showing her in her new job as 'stay at home mom' (I hate that term. I prefer home economist, it really encompasses more of what I do which in simple terms is keep shit running here at Casa de Carter). She said, 'I don't care what people think of me. All that matters is what my boys think of me.' She then bursts into tears. Why? Because of those Judgey and bitchy moms. She totally cares about what other people think, no matter what she says. I love that she's trying to be tough, but she does care, at least a little or she wouldn't be crying about it. In the next segment she explains to Oprah that's what she's afraid of, the judgement that will come from the Judgey-Moms. It was only a couple of sentences, but really struck me. In between staring at the amazing shoes Oprah and Jenna had on (Oprah was rocking the Laboutins and I'm thinking Jenna's were YSL) I started thinking about how we spend most of the time judging each others parenting skills. I can't escape it, so I might as well embrace it. Tomorrow I will wear my leopard stilettos to playgroup and let the other mom's judge my parenting.

Decisions. Outcome. Subsequent judgement. Ask Bill Belichick, he knows.