What is this Four Loko all the kids are talking about...

(Editors Note: Hi Dad! I'm still dealing with the moral dilemma of finishing the PTC post. It will be up soon. P.S. If you want to address me re: PTC, it's Firestarter, not Olivia. Love ya!)



Four loko. I keep hearing about it. My 22 year old cousin's status reads '4 loko can go to heck' at 2 in the afternoon on a Sunday. It's in the news. Apparently it sickens and kills people and they're thinking about making it illegal. Excellent. That's just what I needed to hear. Now I've got to try it before it's outlawed.

So, I stroll into my local liquor store and scan the flavors. Purple (grape??), Red (Death??), and Green, my favorite color, which also happens to be watermelon. I also grab a six pack of Miller Lite so I don't seem like some weird lady buying an energy/booze drink. Well, tonight is my lucky night! I'm wearing sweats and have no makeup on, and somehow, I GET CARDED! I was joyous.

I hustle home and here I sit sipping out of the enormous can. My crazy straw won't fit into the can, so I had to wash it and now I'm just swilling. It's 23.5oz or 705mL for those of you who use the metric system. That's a lot of liquid. And it's light pink in color. As I mentioned on Facebook, it tastes like a Watermelon Blow Pop that has been marinating in a can of PBR and left in the sun. But, this is about science and I will do anything for science.

I'm 20 minutes in, about 1/4 of the way through the can and feeling nothing....