Halfway there...

Okay, I'm halfway through this ginormous can. I'm a little buzzed. Is it the equivalent of five beers? I'm not so sure. It still tastes terrible, so it can't be that potent. My friend/fellow Stern fan/all around cool person Sara claims that she loves PBR and seems excited that FL is 12% alcohol. Would she drink it? Probably not. She values an unburned esophagus. Another friend, the lovely and talented Miss Krista comments via Urban Dictionary that the name Four Loko means:

FOUR STAGES OF CRAZY: Stage 1: Tipsy (loud, might stumble, laugh) Stage 2: Drunk (embarassing, stumbling, slight slur) Stage 3: Wasted (heavy slur, falling, hitting on fat girls) Stage 4: Black Out (no ability to speak, vomiting, waking up next to a fat girl, memory loss)

Stage 1: Hmmm....I can see that happening. But, if you know me you know that a)I'm already loud and b) I always laugh. I'm happy, I laugh. I'm nervous, I laugh. You're my patient and you've just crapped all over me...I'm totally laughing. (With you, that is...not at you.)

Stage 2: I'm generally embarrassing. I say silly things. I hit other cars and drive away (Roche Bros. incident of '06 anyone!?). My brown Uggs always make me trip! Does that count as stumbling? I do occasionally slur. My brain seems to work faster than my mouth.

Stage 3: Falling. Well, I almost fell yesterday. There was a bunch of rainwater soaked cow poo at Wright's farm. I was carrying Haley and I had a flash of what it would have been like to land in a pile of poo on the pavement. Once, while I was working I was bringing a deposit to the bank and slipped on the ice. Some cute guy saw me and helped me up. Very embarassing. Hitting on fat chicks? That's just mean. Seriously?

Stage 4: Blacking out? Waking up next to fat chicks? Hmmm....the other night I woke up in a Princess themed bed with a toddler's foot in my face, does that count?