Haiku: Brought to you by Four Loko

Football

Wow, Ochocinco
And crazy Albert Haynesworth
Mark Sanchez still sucks


Book Club

It's time for book club
Yes, I'll have another drink
Books are for losers


Playdate Cookies

Baking and drinking
Out of vanilla extract
Hope kids like Loko


Kiddie Pool

Relaxing out back
Here comes a random neighbor
Presidential Win


More Football

Hey there, Plaxico
So, good luck with the Steelers
Hint: Don't wear sweatpants


Kids

Hungry Hippos or
Chutes and Ladders it doesn't
matter I will win


Even More Football

Hey Peyton Manning
Congrats on Ninety Million
P.S. You are fug


The Debt Ceiling

Hmmm, this is just like
a macrocosm of the
sub-prime lending thing
(What?! You didn't think I was just some Four Loko drinking, kiddie pool dwelling, bikini wearing idiot, did you?)