And the Training Wheel Goes To...

Here we go…the first annual Golden Training Wheel© awards! These accolades are reserved for the people who are so ridiculous they are completely unaware of their own idiocy. Whew…I couldn’t just nominate some, so all these idiots are getting awards. I know I promised a certain someone that this blog would contain less football, but I couldn’t pass these up.

First up, Brett Favre. Does he have any shame? How many tearful retirements are we going to have to watch? He should have just gracefully sat down after a pretty decent run with the Packers. He couldn’t even say no after he embarrassed himself with the Jets. Now he’s going to play for the Vikings? He’s going to stink and it’s going to be really sad to watch him throw interceptions all season long.

Secondly, let’s talk Michael Vick. Wow. What an interview. James Brown should be getting a GTW just for asking the softest questions ever! My favorite part was when Vick encouraged a group of school children to love animals with all their heart, “even reptiles”! I had visions of Vick hugging a tyrannosaurus and being ingested. And did anyone else think he looked like he had been dipping into his secret water bottle before the interview?! Ugh.
Thankfully the above toolboxes are in the NFC and we shouldn’t have to deal with them during regular season.

Thirdly, this one made me laugh out loud. I am always amazed at the sheer stupidity of people. Haven’t you learned from the umpteen celebrity sex tapes that are always turning up? Some guy from Grey’s Anatomy that they call McSteamy (and who shall now be known as McDumbass) apparently made a sex tape with his wife (remember the Noxema girl?) and some chick who is apparently a dethroned beauty queen/playmate/Hollywood madam. Oh yeah, and apparently the tape very obviously references that they’ve been doing tons of drugs (cocaine is inferred) and this is what is going to be more troublesome for them than the whole threesome aspect. So dumb. SO DUMB! Open letter to everyone: DON’T TAPE YOURSELVES HAVING SEX/USING DRUGS UNLESS YOU WANT EVERYONE IN THE FARKING WORLD TO SEE IT!

Honorable Mention: I can’t even dignify this. This will not have any positive outcome whatsoever. Where’s my sterilizing ray gun when I need it?